א גיט געבענטשט יאר

A New Year's prayer for you -

Dear Lord:

May we get a clean bill of health from our dentist, our psychiatrist, our
opthalmologist, our cardiologist, our gastroenterologist, our urologist, our
proctologist, our gynecologist, our podiatrist, our plumber and the IRS.

May our hair, our teeth, our facelift, our abs, our honey cakes, and our
stocks not fall and may our blood pressure, our triglycerides, our
cholesterol, our white bood count, our weight and our mortgage interest
rates not rise.

May we find a way to travel from anywhere to anywhere in the rush hour in
less than an hour and when we get there, may we find a parking space.

May we all relax about the third millennium of the common era, and realize
that we still have 239 years until the dawn of the sixth millennium of the
Hebrew calendar by which time the computer will be long since obsolete and
so will we.

May we be awe-struck by G-d's sense of humor as we realize that he really
does not want us to touch our toes while exercising or he would have put
them further up our bodies; and, the reason so many of us take up jogging is
to hear heavy breathing again.

May what we see in the mirror delight us and what others see in us,
delight them.

May someone, as well as G-d, love us enough to forgive our faults, be
blind to our blemishes and tell the world about our virtues.

May the telemarketers wait until after we finish dinner to call us. May
our checkbooks and budgets balance and may they include generous amounts for
charity.

May we remember to say "I love you" at least once a day to our spouse, our
child, our parent, all of our significant others but not our boss, our
intern, our nurse, our masseur, our hairdresser or our tennis instructor.

And may the Messiah come this year, and if he does not, may we live as if
he has, in a world at peace, with awareness of G-d's love in every sunset,
flower, baby's smile, lover's kiss, and every wonderful astonishing beat of
our heart. May we smile and laugh throughout the year.

L'Shana Tova.

You are the POPE!